January 26, 2010
The Injustice of It All
I’m eight weeks pregnant today. And while it still feels a little tenuous because I had a miscarriage around this time just under three months ago, I take it as a good sign that I feel completely and utterly shitty. In addition to near-constant nausea, I’ve got this nasty postnasal drip that I haven’t been able to shake for a month and a half – I blame my compromised immune system. As someone who usually takes her good health for granted, it’s hard for me to endure this ongoing feeling of crappiness with grace. My husband and I were thrilled when we read the positive pregnancy test, but perpetual queasiness has dampened my enthusiasm considerably, and now I’m just starting to feel pissed off all the time.
I just don’t get it. Why does something as natural and necessary as the propagation of our species have to be so incredibly unpleasant for the carriers? If women’s bodies are made to make babies – and God knows we’re reminded of our duty for one goddamn blood-soaked week out of every goddamn month – why must it wreak such physical and emotional havoc? I sometimes wonder what it’s like for animals. Do pregnant bears ever dry heave? And what about female dogs – do they get extra bitchy when with puppies? For a species as “evolved” as humans, procreation starts out uncomfortable and ends up being downright violent. Why, oh why?
Anyone who knows me well has heard my rant about the “poor design” of the human reproductive process. My gripe starts with the whole “fourth trimester” concept, i.e. newborns would still essentially prefer to be in the womb for another 12 weeks because they’re still so underdeveloped when they’re born. This is why things like swaddling, pacifying, white noise, etc. usually make them more comfortable and content. This is a far cry from the birthing process of many animals – think of colts who are able to walk as soon as they’re born, or ducklings that peck their own way out of their eggs.
I say, if they’re going to come out so helpless and underdeveloped anyway, why the fuck aren’t human babies smaller? Logically I know that it has to do with the size of the head and the big human brain inside, blah, blah, blah. But doesn’t it seem like we still have some evolving to do in order to reach a birthing process that doesn’t potentially rip the mother’s vagina right open? Imagine if we humans could simply squeeze out a modest-sized egg when the fetus is, say, about 20 weeks developed, and then they could do the rest of their growing inside that egg and find their own way out? I know it sounds ridiculous and probably blasphemous for me to propose such a subversion of nature, but I’m just spitballing here.
Mind you, I don’t really have any right to be bitching like this. Donovan was over nine pounds when he was born, but I was lucky and didn’t tear very much (fingers crossed I’ll be so fortunate this time around). It’s just that the more I think about the human reproductive process, and then take into account some of the horror stories I’ve heard, the more strongly I feel that there should be a better way.
Of course, thousands of years from now (if we’re still around), maybe human beings’ brains will have shrunk so much from mindless entertainment and the aid of technology to complete all of our tasks that childbirth will be a walk in the park. A girl can dream, anyway.
